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When I moved into this house (I know you can’t see it, but it’s my way of having a casual conversation with you… even if it’s only one-way... though you could click on the pencil and talk back)… I started experiencing what I call… an acoustic nuisance from my neighbors.  I talk about this SPV in my book… an incredibly long story for the brief while I’ve endured him… but true!

I could hear his wife utter a great deal of verbal spats to their children every day… stupid and useless were the trivial ones… her verbal abuse was unbelievable! 

One day, I was training my baby girl, a six-month-old Golden Retriever, telling her where to pee and where not to pee… new home, new rules.  And there I was when, out of the blue, I heard an unpleasant-whiny-little-voice… my SPV neighbor was repeating my instructions… out loud!  Mocking me!

At first, I wanted to assume it was a coincidence and that it had nothing to do with me… yeah, right!  As if coincidences had anything to do in the lives of SPVs!

He kept on repeating after me and I was forced to decide either to ignore him or to confront him… and since SPVs become even more violent when they assume they’ve intimidated you, I decided to confront the insolent and obtuse SPV’s bullying!

• Don’t worry - I said out loud - next time I hear your wife verbally abusing the children… I’ll do something about it.

That took care of it!  Yeah, well, as far as the speach repetition went of course… because he began needing to be my friend!!!  In his twisted little psyche he assumed he could reverse the abuse and, since perception is what troubles an SPV the most, he tried every-freaking-thing he could think of to get me to like him. My SPV magnet working!

He’d cling to his window to say hi, he’d run out to meet me whenever I went out… I mean… super-megafreaky!  I informed him, over and over again, that all I wanted was to be a good neighbor not his friend… after all, he’d already proved his SPVism to me!

• Why???? - He’d shriek with his freaky little voice and ‘victim’s face’.

Ay, ay ay! What is he? Twelve???? Yes, as if he were twelve, his need for my friendship was completely ridiculous and childish!  He even hit my car stating I deserved it for not listening to him!   Yes… unbelievable!

SPVs hear no argument when you differ from their ‘logic’, and this wasn’t going to be the exception to the rule.  To my constant refusal to be his friend, the result was an even more violent SPV.   And, please don’t go blaming me.  Let me tell you that it is my fundamental right to reject the attachment of SPVs in my life… that tendency people have to end up blaming the victim makes my blood boil!

Yes, of course, please mistreat me and then force me to be your friend!!!  Yes, I'm begging here!!!