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Straight and non-stop to our ‘Hall of Fame’ the winner of our Place of Honor award for her outstanding contribution to Self-interest: Colossal SPV!

--- I can almost hear Queen SPV whispering into the ear of this colossal SPV when this all happened… Remember the Queen SPV that casts a very long shadow…? Well, she’s really the one calling the shots here!  This colossal SPV is an enthusiastic member of the Queen SPV’s ‘herd’ of followers.  Heck… I think they’re almost one and the same… yeah… you can’t really tell where one begins and the other one ends! ---

This colossal SPV ‘needs’ to destroy her own ‘herd’ of followers and ‘captive audience’ so as to have something to complain about.  If she finds herself having everything she needs, then she complains about what she desires and doesn’t have… and subsists, simply put, depressed… case in point when it comes to SPVs. 

I will write the whole story about this colossal SPV someday… long… but worth it to make a stronger point about SPVs…  How silly of me… as if actions didn’t speak louder than words!

A while back, this colossal SPV decided that it was easier to live with someone than alone (and cheaper) so she began giving her belongings away… amongst those belongings was her dining room furniture… and gave it to one of the members of her ‘captive audience’… so far so good, right?

To make room for the ‘new’ this member gave away hers… I mean, why on earth would she want double of everything?  Right?  And if someone is giving her something for free, she thought it was only fair to give hers away for free too.  Not realizing… that she was about to become colossal SPV’s free-of-charge ‘legacy holder’… yes, making room for something that would never belong to her… hence… ‘Legacy holder’… Why? …and this is where it gets a little bit off…

Some years later, the ‘legacy holder’ decided to renew her décor and thought she could dispose of the ‘legacy’ as she wished, right?  Wrong!  She forgot, for a nanosecond, that she was dealing with a colossal SPV.

• What do you mean you’re going to sell my furniture? It’s mine! - Said the colossal SPV.

To play it safe, the ‘legacy holder’ tip-toed her way out of the conflict and transferred it to another member of the ‘captive audience’, so as not to be held responsible for another one of the colossal SPV’s ‘Oscar winning’ suicide performances, and do whatever she pleased with her décor… and she did… she transferred the ‘legacy’…

And life, peacefully, went on for the former ‘legacy holder’.  Hands down… this was the best decision anyone could’ve made!  Oh, sometimes you have to just drop it and move on!

Yeah, well… I insist… nothing last forever when you deal with SPVs!

This colossal SPV went ‘nomadic’… she kept on jumping from one member of the ‘captive audience’s’ home on to the next, and to the next only to end up living with the first one again… only to decide that she ‘needed’ to live by herself again… yes… as a ratified consecrated colossal SPV… making life miserable for everybody along with the SPV’s endless: What do I want? What do I need? …and nothing ever pleases them… nothing!

Let me tell you that this colossal SPV was not in the least worried about the ‘operating costs’ of moving or the ‘necessary’ shit that had to be bought each time she moved… she just said: Now, let’s see what else I ‘need’…! She just went out and about manipulating psyches around her!  She’s only really cared when she’s the one taking a freaking penny out of her pocket.

By now, living alone and all (yeah, well, alone but not self-sufficient) she started to ‘need’ stuff to fill the space again… with everyone else’s money, of course, since she squandered away hers a while back… finances is another thing out of SPVs ‘area of expertise’.

An SPV will never be grateful and nothing will ever be enough… always ‘needing’ more than you can handle and you end up almost broke… Yes, I know… one’s fault and no one else’s… for trying to be a good son/daughter - or just part of the ‘herd’ - when one could, easily, say: No!

But, when you do that, when you say: Enough is enough! …you end up in a living hell!  You end up having to face the consequences of your actions… or the lack of them and, sometimes, you’d rather believe that not everything has to be black and white… especially when it comes to SPVs within range!

Anyway, one day, the new ‘legacy holder’ gets a phone call from the colossal SPV.  She wants her furniture back… yes, HER furniture! 

• But, colossal SPV, I can’t buy a new one right now… - Replied in anguish this devoted member of the SPV’s ‘captive audience’.
• Yeah, but… I’ve got ‘visitors’ coming and I want my house to look nice and I’ve got nothing here! - responded the colossal SPV - and when she says visitors… she means Queen SPV and ‘herd’ of stupid followers.
• Yes you do, colossal SPV, and this is not the right moment for me to go changing things around here - answered the devoted member of the SPVs ‘captive audience’, without realizing colossal SPV could not care less about her problems - Couldn’t you wait until I can get another one? - She sadly begged.
• No! I’m telling you I’ve got ‘visitors’ coming… put your kitchen table instead… what am I supposed to do? …I need it and I’ve already contacted the movers to go get it in a couple of days - Colossal SPV threatened.

It’s not that it wasn’t like her to do this… but it was sort of unlike her to get the nerve to do all of this… see… that’s why I told you Queen SPV must have been close… really close… whispering… planning… manipulating… URGING!  After all, she was the guest of honor!

The devoted member of the colossal SPV’s ‘captive audience’ was, at this point in time, asking herself just when, exactly, had she signed up as a ‘free-of-charge warehouse’ - that is… history repeating itself as it was the same question the former ‘legacy holder’ asked herself a while back - and wondering how she was going to tell her husband about it… but decided to go on, naively assuming that the matter was up for debate...

• I got rid of my furniture to make room for this one - Replied, and almost begged, the devoted member of the colossal SPV’s ‘captive audience’ - And, a couple of years back, when I had the chance to get a new one, you didn’t want it back!
• Well I want it now!  I need it and, as I said before, I’ve got ‘visitors’ and have already hired the movers… and it’s mine! - Was the cold, blunt answer from colossal SPV.

Selfish and rude… and absentminded because - and this is what gets me the most - when colossal SPV got her new apartment this devoted member of her ‘captive audience’ purchased some fixtures, and a couch, and some other stuff as colossal SPV ‘felt’ they were a must!  She already had those things… but she freaking wanted new ones… and one has to obey, right?  Or else, right?

 “I want my furniture and I want it now!”  …the colossal SPV had spoken.  And the devoted member of the SPV’s ‘captive audience’ was ‘forced’ to indulge.  She felt she had no choice.  Or did she?

She would have been kicked out of the ‘habitat’ had she said no… and she didn’t wish to.  So she obeyed.  And the movers came along.  And everything was set to go.  And she included everything else she could think of that once belonged to colossal SPV so as not to have to give it up in the future under similar circumstances.

And that vacant space ended up looking nice and pretty for the devoted member of the SPV’s ‘captive audience’ after all… with nothing new… just her creativity and a bit of imagination.  Placed her kitchen table there, moved one or two things around, a couple of lamps, lit some candles and sat down… realizing, for the first time, that the change had been cleansing… so purifying… so fresh… so like freaking Feng Shui!!!

In the meantime, Colossal SPV was arranging everything for the arrival of Queen SPV with her ‘herd’ of stupid followers as an added bonus.  Colossal SPV decided to ignore the fact that the ‘event’ lasted 1 day… yes… one freaking day but…   I mean, this is Queen SPV we’re talking about for crying out loud!  She, along with her ‘herd’, deserved the utmost attention!

Colossal SPV ‘needed’ the dining room furniture for those - once a year - visitors vs. the ‘captive audience’ of every other day. 

Priorities!  Yes, priorities in the mind of an SPV that never appreciates what she’s got just in order to keep complaining.  And so ‘The Day After’ came to the colossal SPV’s existence… with some added furniture… with a temporarily shrunken ‘audience’… in a temporarily lonely ‘habitat’.  Yes, temporarily, because once devoted always devoted, it seems.

But don’t you just love this kind of semi-dark, semi-lonely endings in the lives of SPVs?  Yes, there is a God!  Thank you SPVs!  Yes, thanks to all of you, SPVs out there, for being your own worst freaking nightmare!!!

It’s only a matter of time before this devoted member of the colossal SPV’s ‘captive audience’ comes around and says: Enough is enough!