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This is the story about an SPV whom I will call graphic APV, and you’ll see what I mean.  Environment: the ideal for the deployment of SPVs… the office.

The office is like that… sort of an ecosystem in another dimension… like a roach trap only for SPVs… and there you are… more than required to make ‘friends’ with as many people who look your way just because you don’t want to eat by yourself in the cafeteria or because you don’t want to jeopardize your job over greed, rivalry or envy… or whatever!  People who, in the real world, you wouldn’t even give them the time of day because you KNOW they’re pessimistic and dark spirited.

That’s where destiny - or my ‘magnetic’ personality for SPVs - plays an important role.   Whenever you’re busiest… you feel the presence of one of them in front of your desk… there, just quietly standing… waiting for you to make a move… that silent attitude that should warn us it’s not about work… because she would, then, come with a paper on her hand to interrupt whatever you’re doing so no time is wasted to get her job done, right?

As soon as you look at her she begins to unveil her entire existence before you!  Telling you about her past, her present (no future as SPVs don’t have one) and with every single detail they can think of… yes… they are so… ‘illustrative’!

The thing is, this graphic SPV, ‘signed up’ for as space in my private life and as it, sometimes, is sort of like ‘professional suicide’ not having an SPV think she’s your one and only pal… well, I ‘authorized’ it!

I paid my price!  I suffered all through lunch time… listening to her every guy that had stepped into her life… what she did, what they did, when, where… it was crazy!  My conversation, if you can even call it that, was something like:  Aha!, Really!, Uhmm!...

To get into that mouth meant ending up in the mouth of the security guy at the door… and your boss’!  Because, as they are sort of ‘invisible’ inside this ecosystem called ‘office’ their word is ‘sacred’!  And that’s where this saying applies: You keep your friends close, and your enemies closer!

One evening she came over to my apartment to have a cup of coffee because she ‘needed’ to tell me about her latest ‘drama’…. One of those imaginary dramas that always seem to follow SPVs…

There she was telling me all about this guy, and how he was using her - with so very many details - when my husband arrived.  He said Hi and sat to join ME… I immediately changed the subject and started talking about everything but.  

I thought, for an instant, that this graphic SPV would get it, right?  Nop… she’s SPV!  And she started trying to get my husband up to speed on her drama!

What?  I mean what????

• OK, you can’t tell my husband about that, graphic SPV - I immediately said with a stone face while she ignored me - Don’t you hear?  I said shut up!
• Ayyyy, girlfriend - started saying, the graphic SPV, with that stupid teeny-weeny voice SPVs have along with the freaking ‘victim’s face’ and went on with - But he’s my friend too!

That’s when I lost it!  ‘Yeah, but…’??????? What on earth make her think the matter was under discussion?

• I, am your friend… he, is my husband and your conversation is over! - I finally said.

But she’s SPV… she didn’t get it!  And she goes on and on, ignoring me and asking my husband:

• Does my conversation bother you? - she dared ask my husband who was so enjoying the exchange as if he were at a tennis match… looking back and forth.
• I mind… I MIND!  And if your conversation doesn’t end right now you better go! - I said while pointing towards the door - I’m the one calling the shots here!

Of course, she left.  My husband couldn’t help but laugh about it for a long, long time.  I laugh as I remember… I laugh today!

Next day, graphic SPV, was apologizing, yeah well, an apology like only an SPV gives… followed by: ‘Yeah, but…’ and insisted, for ages, about whether she was my husband’s friend or not - yes… she kept on chewing over the freaking subject!

Result:  I asked her not to talk to me again, to get out of my life and get me out of her mouth… and she still wondered why… Yeah, why do you think it is?

Needless to say, I was grateful to the stars for having her only end up as the poor little victim of a cold hearted bitch!  It could have been worst, right?  And even though there were people asking and wondering - including the security guy at the door - about what really happened, I never said a thing… What on earth for?